aggravated and horny

LIKE USUAL, SO WHATEVER.

So T thinks I'm self-centered. And it use to bother me, but I'm starting to really not care (hah, I guess it's the self-centeredness of me showing itself). Like this morning he basically said that I only care about my own feelings and think about myself and don't care about his feelings. You know, I'd care about you feelings if you'd actually let me know what they are. When I'm mad I like to vent or be left alone. And you know what, that's exactly what T likes too, whether he realizes it or not. I always listen to what he has to say, and no he doesn't get a lot of time alone when I'm home with him (shit we get like 4 hours a day together where we aren't tired as fuck, of course I want to spend that time with him) and usually when he rushes me to bed and on his weekends he gets to be alone because I'm at work. And plus, he doesn't let me know when he is upset a lot of the time (unless he is bitching about it) and when I ask if something is wrong it's always "eh nothing" and I usually do push and I get the same response. So what the fuck am I suppose to do? He has told me many times he isn't a mind reader, and aha neither am I. If you want me to do something sweet and special for you because you're upset well let me know you're upset once and awhile. And what am I suppose to do for you anyway. I can't go anywhere and get you anything. I can't surprise you with something I know you like, like starbucks. I clean? And you don't care. I cook, and it's expected..... ummmm I give head way more then I get laid so what the fuck? I listen when you vent and when you put yourself down I tell you it isn't true cuz its not, I always cuddle. You never ask for backrubs and when you do I give them. I wash you down in the shower like 90% of the time when I get in there. All day my day is T T T T T T T T T T. I make sure the apartment doesn't look like shit, I make you something to eat, I kiss you and cuddle with you and ask you how your day was and I bring you something to drink if you ask, I bring you your food, when we go grocery shopping I always buy things you say you like, I count down and wait all day for you to be home, at work I try and text you and call you all day to talk to you. Holy shit my life revolves around T. But wait.. I'm self-centered aren't I? Yeah fuck you for saying that. The only thing you have is the fact that I refuse and bitch about giving head. Because I'm sorry but when I'm all over you stripping you down sucking you to get you hard SO YOU CAN FUCK ME.. and you just lay there like a lazy fucking asshole and do nothing for me the whole time it gets lame. A lot of the time when I suck your dick its to get you hard so you can fuck me, not because I just want dick in my mouth, I already get it shoved in my mouth enough with out having to initiate that myself so what the fuck. And our sex gets sort of boring. I always say do more do what you want but if you did what you really wanted you'd get off of me and lay the fuck down and shove my head in your crotch, so whaaaaaat the hell ever. You don't really want to fuck me you're not sexually attracted to me and thats not changing obviously. so lets bring someone else in so I can have the boring sex and he can have fun with her. GOOD FUCKING IDEA.